...I've known since the situation arose that there isn't going to be an easy solution for it. A good amount of this is also reliant on the actions of other people, if I make the decision in the way that I suspect I should - I have no control over the outcome once the decision is made, should it go that way, and I don't...tend to care for it very much when situations become unpredictable like that.

[...]

This isn't going to end well no matter what decision is made; I'm entirely aware of that much already. So it doesn't...follow, for me to willingly choose an option where I have no control over any of it. Does that make sense?