preybeforemeals | IC Contact/Voicemail

[are you sure though because it looks like the Bad At Feelings Power Hour from this end]

Strong or not, it's the way things are, so- ...listen, I don't see why an explanation is so important, if it suits you perhaps we can forget that I said anything, I...

[NO REALLY WHY]

[OH HOW THE TABLES HAVE SOMEWHAT INEXPLICABLY AND UNEXPECTEDLY ABRUPTLY TURNED.]

I'd not like to forget you've said anything — surely it's not something you say to everyone?

Well, no, of course not.

[OKAY THERE HE ADMITTED TO PART OF THE THING CAN WE DROP THE REST OF THE THING NOW]

W-Well, if it's...something about me then—

[...]

...Then perhaps I just don't want you to have a mistaken idea of me, either!

...I'm sorry?

[...o...kay, this is either going to be something completely Victorian or it's going to go south immediately, and he's got his money on zero to shitshow in point-six.]

How do you mean?

When I was young, I wanted something like that very much. It sounds rather a bit like a knight in shining armor, doesn't it, when you put it that way? Or a Prince Charming.

[There's a wobble at the corners of her mouth again.]

Then I met someone like that, and we were to be married, until I became more of a nuisance than I was worth and he tricked me into being rid of me.

My mother loved me and did awful things to innocent people for love of me, and my keeper played at loving me but really only despised and used me, and a gentleman loved me and was killed for me, and another abandoned his fiancée for me and promised we'd live happily together where I'd be safe...and he was wrong.

[Unconsciously, she touches her fingers to her chest, remembering the jolt of pain where the blade had gone in.]

And it's not that I'd like to presume or put you off or— ...I just, I can't stand to be hurt again. I just can't. And it's not that I think you will, it's just the opposite, it's that I want to believe you so badly but I'm afraid to believe it if it's...founded on something that might change...

A-And if I don't know what it's founded on at all, then how can I know whether to be afraid?

[And for a good long moment he just...stares.]

...not to offend you, Miss Everett, but...I don't recall saying that I'm in love with you?

[...there must have been a better way to put that.]

Don't misunderstand me, mademoiselle, you're a beautiful person, but it isn't love that's caused me to make that sort of decision.

[He rakes his hands back through his hair; what the hell has tonight even become...]

Ah, I don't know if this is making the situation better or worse...but it really is fondness, you know. I don't come to care about people very easily, and so when I do I don't tolerate them being harmed any; that's what this is, and it's not anything that I can really see changing anytime soon.

...W-Well, you hadn't said that you weren't!

[...And you know, he'd called the possibility of this suddenly getting really painfully Victorian a few minutes ago, and that suspicion may just prove to be prophetic, because she's just kind of quiet and reserved for a little while after, during which she's honest to god trying to wrap her mind around the notion of determined, fervent protectiveness absent either love, chivalry, or simply wanting something.

...She's trying really hard.]

A-And I'd...still not like you to have a wrong idea of me, anyway. I'm too fond of you for all that, when it only causes trouble.

[...There's no real way to express "I'm kind of territorial" without this getting even more awkward than it already is, so he'll just allow her to be Victorian as hell over there, if no one minds.]

Nothing you've said has changed my mind, if that's a concern.

...If we're speaking plainly, I think I'd rather the fondness anyway. You...really haven't any expectations on me?

[CHOO CHOO VICTORIANISMS KEEP RIGHT ON ROLLING ALONG.]

...I suppose it must seem as though we've gotten very off-track from where we started, but it's...simply put, I don't think I've any right to say what makes someone deserve happiness, or to say that it has anything to do with what they might've done or the sort of person they've once been. And...lest you think I'm only being kind to you without thinking of myself in saying so, that's something I think — or don't think, rather — because I'm selfish enough to still wish for happiness, myself.

You've always been kind to me. I'd not like to be afraid of you, is all, or to be afraid while living a life near you. ...Or afraid at all if it could be helped; as I said, I'm so very tired of that.

[...and because it's just been that sort of night where everything has been hideously stressful despite the fact that she intended to bring it over to the exact opposite of that and as such Tsukiyama's thought process is taking a while to recover, it takes him a moment to follow with regards to "expectations"; he's already verified that he's not here because he wants something and he is absolutely certain she's not pregnant through any fault of his, and about half a second after that thought hits he's very grateful that he's managed to keep his mouth shut and just let the girl keep talking.]

The reason I say things are more complicated than whether I deserve happiness or not is due to things that really only matter back in Tokyo - those things that I won't talk about. They're irrelevant here, but that doesn't mean I can ignore them altogether.

It has nothing to do with letting you be hurt by anyone, though, myself or otherwise. I'm not going to harm you, nor will I allow anything of the sort from anyone else. I can promise you that much.

...Thank you. I really have been very happy here.

[And that, of all things, is what proves to call up a little dampness to her eyes, but she's quick to rub it away before it ever approaches anything close to tears — for her own sake as much as for his comfort.]

I would offer to speak with your friend on your behalf, and happily so, but...I imagine you'd not like to have me in the middle of things, much less in a place where I'm likely to hear awful things about you. Would you?

[...Thank you so much for not crying on him, Meridiana. Literally no one needs that right now.]

Ah...I've already done what I can in that regard; he'll speak to me whenever he's ready to do so, supposedly.

[HE'S TERRIBLY OPTIMISTIC, IS IT OBVIOUS.]

It's nice of you to offer, though.

Well, you gave me quite the fright the other day, with the business about your soul and despair and whatnot.

[And the shitty-ass fainting.]

I'm not well-suited to be a defender of anyone, but I should still like to do what little I might, wherever I can.

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