preybeforemeals | IC Contact/Voicemail

I'm aware, and I believed you. Just the same, it's nice to hear from you.

Did you resolve whatever issue was troubling you last time?

Uh, well...

[That's never a good way to start, is it?]

The egg hatched in the middle of the night last night. Everything is...okay, for now. I think.

...But I'm going to need to buy a new pair of shoes.

Ah, the species bites everything, doesn't it...

As long as the shoes are the only casualty right now, you're probably doing well.

Yeah. It tried going for one of the pillows first, but I guess it was too soft...so it went for my feet instead.

[And thank god Kaneki's shoes weren't tied.

He pauses for a little bit there before he sends another text.]

I...I know you said you didn't mind if I didn't have much to talk about when I called you, but I actually do have a question. But it's...more one out of curiosity than anything else.

[Oh, what's this, now...]

Of course, Kaneki-kun. You can ask me anything you'd like.

You play the piano, right?

[...WELL...ALL RIGHT THEN.]

I do! I've played since I was very young, actually. Why do you ask?

[HE'S GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS, HE SWEARS.]

I was talking to Banjou-san a few weeks ago. He told me he played guitar sometimes back home, but had been playing a lot more recently, now that he's here.

Is there a particular reason why you like it?

There are a few reasons, really - the first is probably that I genuinely find music to be beautiful. The works of Beethoven and Chopin and Dvorak, Bach and Rachmaninov...music is capable of moving people, of inspiring stirrings of emotion in their very souls, and that's both an alluring power and a lovely feeling. Studying music is the study of beauty itself; it allows you to explore and unleash your own passion, allowing you to become a more complete person in the process, and yet you can use that passion to reach out to others and instill passion in them as well, should you choose to.

On a more personal note, it's another thing that's always been with me, particularly in my darker hours; it's calming and familiar, and it's something I can do by memory if I don't want to think for a while. I don't need to read music to play most of my repertoire anymore, nor do I need to really concentrate on what I'm doing; muscle memory generally fills everything in for me once I start.

Does that answer your question?

It does, yes.

[Even now, it was still something of a surprise to see that ghouls had ambitions, passions, and hobbies just like anyone else. Tsukiyama and Banjou with their music, for example, or Touka studying hard to prepare for college...]

Do you still play, here?

[Good lord, it's almost like they're people and not some sort of mindless monolith.

Who would have thought.]

Yes. I have a piano here, actually; I got a more permanent residence as soon as I was able to afford one, and the instrument shortly after.

Oh- that must be nice, then. I was just curious, since I...remembered that you played. I don't think that's something I would ever be very good at.

Ah, that's right, you've heard me play the organ before...piano is less demanding, but I like it just the same.

Would you like to hear something?

[There's a slight delay in his response, but not very long of one. It's either that he's a little surprised by the offer, or yon devil dragon over there has almost eaten his whole shoe.]

I wouldn't mind, if you aren't busy.

I'm not; give me a moment.

[It doesn't take him long to move down from where he'd been in his room, doing nothing in particular outside of texting; it takes him a moment to switch the messaging means over - he ticks it over to audio, not video - and there's a bit of a pause, a moment taken to breathe in deeply and settle his hands before he starts.

Once he does start, it seems he's decided on Bach; at the very least he's pretending to be classy today.]

[When Tsukiyama starts to play, Kaneki leans his head back against the pillows on his bed so he can sit there and listen. The piano strikes him as being a lot nicer to listen to than the organ had been, for more reasons than one. And he'll have to hand it to him...he's very good at playing it.

After a while he notices that the little Deino eating his shoe has curled up on the soft carpet with bits of the sole scattered on the floor and the shoelaces hanging from his mouth. He had been up half the night, after all, and it seems like the baby is finally ready to take a nap thanks to the music.]

[There's a reason he didn't do Moonlight Sonata, despite that generally being his go-to.

He stops eventually, however, once he runs out of piece to continue with; he pauses for a moment before switching back over to text.]

I know a few that aren't classical as well, but most of what I can play is.

You are very good, Tsukiyama-san. That was beautiful.

[Well then. c: ]

I'm glad you enjoyed it, Kaneki-kun.

[...]

Is it strange for you - the idea that someone like me would do things like this? I'm not offended by it, I'm just guessing that that's why you asked.

Well...it is, yes. I guess since I've grown up thinking differently for so long, it's still a bit strange to think about.

[It takes him a moment to formulate a response to that; it's reminding him a bit of a conversation he had with Banjou recently. Not a bad reminder, just...one that he can't exactly immediately shake off.]

I was raised around humans, you know. Not raised by them, mind, there's a difference, and if I had been then my ideologies would likely be completely different. But I attended school with them, and it was always considered very important that I should integrate with them. You learn a lot about them, in that sort of circumstance.

I won't say that what humans want and what I want are the same thing, and I won't try to claim that we're the same beneath the immediately obvious superficial differences, because I think that's pretty insulting to both of us, but...I will say that we're just as diverse in interest as humans are, or at the very least we have potential to be if we're allowed to realize it. The problem with many ghouls is honestly that they aren't - they can't attend school for various reasons, they're hunted down from a very young age, they learn that they can't trust anyone and have to kill everyone who gets too close to them. That isn't a way to become actualized for anyone, is it?

You know that I don't believe human lives should be valued over mine, because I've told you as much myself; the fact of the matter is that I don't believe that anyone has more of a right to survive than anyone else. I know full well why humans want me dead, and I understand why it's easier for them to consider me some sort of soulless animal that can only take joy in slaughtering them - it's the same reason why it's easier for ghouls to consider humans as nothing more than livestock.

It's doing both sides a disservice, I think, to see it like that.

[At some point during reading Tsukiyama's response Kaneki has to stop, because when he starts talking about how ghouls don't generally have the same opportunities as humans do he is immediately reminded of Hinami. He's reminded of how...unfair it is for her to miss out on being able to go to school when she's already so starved for knowledge. How she's on the run at this very moment, trying to avoid the hands of the CCG who would like nothing more than to see her- a child- gone.

...]

I think I understand what you are saying. And...I agree, too. I really wish things didn't have to be that way.

[But things never would improve. There would always be humans working for the CCG and those who recoiled at the mere mention of a ghoul. Likewise, there would always be ghouls who hunted for pleasure just as much as they did to survive, such as Rize. Not even all of the pacifists out there and humans willing to see ghouls as more than just monsters could do anything to change that.

It was a little overwhelming, how...suddenly sad that thought made Kaneki feel. It wasn't something he had to worry about anymore, here, but that didn't make it any less distasteful.]

I am glad I know what I do now, about other ghouls. I mean, if you really think about it...as far as having hopes, goals, and dreams, we really aren't all that different. Are we?

You mean you see us as people now. That's what that comes down to, isn't it?

It is. After everything I've seen and been through, I don't think I could think of it any other way.

[Humans seem to be just as capable of being raging psychopaths as any ghoul, so the only thing really separating them is their biology.]

That's good to know. Ah, but there's not much point in focusing on such things now, is there? What with how things are here for everyone.

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