preybeforemeals | IC Contact/Voicemail

Entry tags:

IC Contact/Voicemail

[VOICE/TEXT/VIDEO; OPEN TO ALL]
(Meridiana, you probably want this one.)

"Ah, amore, it seems I've missed you; do leave something for me and we'll see if we can rectify that, shall we?"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[...Oh.

He actually has to resist the urge to tell him to pursue it anyway - that such things shouldn't even be a concern here, that he should prove to himself that this time it'd be different, but he manages to stop himself before he does so; he wants to draw on his own experiences but he isn't...entirely sure that's what he should be doing. That's why he uses Kaneki as a gauge for things like this, isn't it?

And Kaneki hadn't trusted people who did things like that for any reason; it's just a matter of...trying to figure out how to put that into words that are relevant for this situation, isn't it?

God, feelings are hard and he liked it a lot better when he effectively didn't have any.]

I think that maybe if you're having thoughts like that - you're concerned something like that will happen again, n'est-ce pas? That that level of attachment will be a problem? - then pursuing a relationship might not be a good idea, yes. If it's going to hurt the other person then you might want to discuss things with them, for a given degree of 'discussing things'; it might not be a good idea to tell them about that unless you trust them with it, and certainly don't hit them over the head with it or anything. But...if you're having thoughts like that it's probably good to withdraw a bit, if not remove yourself entirely.

...I also think you're already a better person than I am, if your desire is to remove yourself from the situation so that something like that doesn't happen again.

I've been trying to withdraw a bit already, but I don't know that she might try and seek me out anyway. There's only so far I can run here without either confronting her or pretending it isn't a problem.

Distance from the situation at home has helped. I don't think I can ever make up for what I've done, but I can at least try to not have it happen again. This world isn't on the verge of ending as far as I can tell, but I still don't want to get into a situation where something terrible could happen because of my actions.

Have you ever thought you were the hero in a situation but then looked back and realized you were the one in the wrong?

[It can't just be him. He can't be the only person who's experienced this.]

Everyone believes themselves to be in the right in one way or another, no matter what they're doing - whether it was planned or simply a good idea at the time. After all, no one does anything that they genuinely believe to be a bad idea.

Personally, I don't know if I've ever done that exactly, just because it's not the way I tend to operate. At the same time, I work closely with someone who's done many, many terrible things; he's murdered a good amount of people - slaughtered them, really - and he's tortured a few for the sake of seeing his goal through. I don't know if he even remembers what his goal is anymore; I think it's shifted more toward revenge than anything, if you want me to be honest.

To hear him talk, though...he believes that he's saving people. Protecting them from bad people, despite everything he's doing himself.

I used to think that. It's... hard. I honestly thought I was saving her from a horrible fate.

I don't know what to do about this relationship. She reminds me so much of Mai. I really should pull away, but I don't want to hurt her... but I might hurt her more. I don't know if she'll take 'no' for an answer, either.