002. [Video/Action for Goldenrod City]

[preybeforemeals]

[Well, it seems that Tsukiyama has finally left whatever hellhole he's buried himself in for the last couple of weeks; he hasn't been out nearly as much as he'd normally like – really, he hasn't been out at all unless it's been absolutely necessary – but it seems that today he's decided that if he's going to bury himself in several layers of escapist fantasy, he might as well do it outside rather than behind the locked doors of a hotel room.

...That, and he's run out of reading material.

The feed from Tsukiyama's device today opens with a slow pan over some of what he's managed to find in his attempt to stave off boredom; after a moment, his voice can be heard over the video.]

I'm finding myself a bit at a loss, really – if nothing else, I'm unsure whether I should be impressed or offended.

[To his credit, he sounds more amused than anything; after a moment he turns the camera around to actually get him in the shot. He seems well enough, if a bit exasperated.]

They seem to have things such as The Metamorphosis and Battle Royale as well, things that don't seem to have changed much just judging by the title, but I'm sure there's some sort of completely hideous difference in there that will make itself known eventually. For now I think I'm just grateful that I haven't found anything like The Black Gogoat's Egg...I'm sure it would be by someone like Takatsuki Sentret, while we're at it.

[Because this place is a travesty like that.]

From what I've seen, the film selection isn't much better... Tell me if you've found anything particularly interesting during your time here, will you? I don't particularly mind if it's a pun-entrenched mess; if anything, I'm a little curious about how badly they've managed to butcher things.

[Granted, he's not entirely sure how this is going to go, given that there's apparently a market for things like Sharpedonado around here and as such he is effectively asking for recommendations from people who find things like that to be high art, but you know what, live a little.]


[ACTION]

[It's a little overcast today but it's not too cold, and as such he can be found sitting in one of the squares near the department store; there's a café nearby that he's come to like, even if it's not Anteiku (because nothing is quite like Anteiku, even if he'd never really frequented the place as much as some it had its charms, he can't deny that), and he's claimed one of the outdoor tables with a book laid nearby and a cup of something that steams in front of him. As usual, he's a little hard to miss – which is really just a polite way of saying that he's still something of an eyesore, but at least it looks like there was an attempt today and the entire ensemble is blessedly argyle-free.

He's not reading the book he's got laid out, though once in a while he looks at it in a way that implies he's tempted to at least see how much of a shitshow it's surely going to be; for now, his time seems to be given to actually taking the time to savor the joy that is pumpkin-spice everything while it lasts (as long as we all take the word "joy" to mean "experience that involves drinking that coffee once in a while like he's not sure if it's poison, only to set it down and look at it funny and be clearly unsure in its general direction...but for some reason he can't stop drinking it once in a while anyway") and...once in a while swatting away a really persistent Klefki that is hovering near his head.

She doesn't seem to mind the swatting; if anything, she's seeming to find it to be a game of some sort, and she keeps coming back and...unlatching, for lack of a better word, for the sake of waving one of the keys she's found in his general direction with the happiest damn noise because NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND

SHE FOUND A PRETTY ONE AREN'T YOU PROUD OF HER.

...After a while the implications of that will sink in, however, and...]

...Mirabella...

[Surely she hasn't.]

Mirabella, amore – exactly where have you been getting those...?

[If he has gotten some sort of kleptomaniac keyring he swears to god - ]

Comments

Video

[nvcr]

Y'know, despite all the inherent dangers of books, I've gotta admit that I found this a little. Well.

Weird.

[He's in a bookstore right now, with a stack of books behind him. A Game of Thrones looks more or less unchanged, but A Clash of King's Shield, A Storm of Honedge, A Feast for Honchkrow, and A Dance with Dragonite are also there.

He's pretty sure that the Pokemon world doesn't have HBO, though, so hey. He supposes it's okay.]

By the way, never watch The Human Scolipede. Ooooh, sure, you'll think "it's okay, I can handle a simple movie about torture and unholy transformations", but then the whole movie turns out to be far more than even its refreshingly honest premise gives away, and all you're left with, walking away, is the urge to crawl screaming into your shower as you try to wash off the filth and regret from every inch of your being.

Video

[preybeforemeals]

[...you know, if nothing else, having broadcast this entire thing to the network is really just driving home the fact that CONGRATULATIONS, TSUKIYAMA, THIS IS YOUR LIFE NOW. THIS IS WHAT IT HAS BECOME, HAVE FUN.

That is to say that it's coming with a lot of "May Arceus be a fence around me" and the urge to just bury his face in his hands because oh my god this entire thing is sacrilege. Nothing about this response he just got is not sacrilege. Where does he even start.

...At least he's still smiling because he's really good at doing that particular thing with his face.]

Is that so? Well, I appreciate the warning, amore, as...intriguing though it was.

Dare I ask what you're talking about, though? Regarding those inherent dangers you mentioned.

[nvcr]

Plenty of things. Apart from the fact that books contain secret truths and knowledge that humankind was never meant to read about, there's also the meat smell and the poisonous gases. Oh. And I got bitten once; I wasn't really paying attention.

Also, librarians. They did kidnap all of the town's children for their treacherous Summer Reading Program, and I'm pretty sure they ate Paolo, so if you're ever looking for a book in Night Vale, for the love of god, do not go to the library.

[preybeforemeals]

Oh...they certainly don't sound like my sort of people, no.

[They sound like a bunch of philistines, really. I mean w...hy would you eat children, that's...well, it's not that he's fundamentally opposed per se but children really aren't-

...ANYWAY...]

I'm assuming this "Night Vale" is where you're from, then?

[nvcr]

[Look, maybe kids aren't exactly what passes for a cannibalistic filet mignon or whatever, but sometimes all you really want is a fucking Big Mac.]

Yup! We're just a sleepy little town in the middle of the desert, so you can imagine that this whole "POKEMON ADVENTURE" thing came as...well, kind of a shock.

[He hasn't even played these games. I mean, Janice likes them, but how's he supposed to know what the kids like to play around with these days.]

[preybeforemeals]

[God, he actually has a frame of reference for the whole Big Mac thing now and believe me he'd rather punch himself in the throat.

Although that's...interesting, what was said just now.]

And everyone in this sleepy little town of yours just accepts the librarians that eat people?

[nvcr]

It's not like we go around encouraging it; the majority of parents warn their children to stay away from the library. And we do have a few moments of trying to make things better for the public -- Poetry Week, the annual Book Purge, Tamika Flynn's slaying of the head librarian.

But none of us ever bothered to really try to make the librarians not eat people. It's just a fact of life.

[preybeforemeals]

[And something in that resonates strangely with him, though he manages to keep it off his face; he just tips his head at that and he laughs, though the sound isn't a cruel one - it's closer to something one would do when they're trying to work out what they should be doing, and that's as good as anything else at the moment.]

It sounds like an interesting place, monsieur - my own life is nowhere near as exciting, this sounds like something out of a story to me. Would you mind telling me more about it? Whatever you like, I'm curious.

[nvcr]

Alright.

I'm not entirely sure where I should start, I mean--for the most part, none of the towns in this world have windowless black vans into which people disappear forever, or at least, none that I've seen. Also, wheat and their by-products are legal, which honestly makes me a little uncomfortable.

But oh, how I miss those cold desert nights! When there is nothing but the moon and silence and the vast expanse of sandy nothing all around our town, and, for a few brief moments, you are reminded just how small you are against the immense void of the universe.

[preybeforemeals]

[...Wow.]

Are you a writer, by any chance, or are you just particularly good with turns of phrase?

[nvcr]

Eh, a little bit of both, but probably more of the second one. Those prophesied to be Night Vale Community Radio hosts are trained in all the finer points of reporting, which includes turning phrases, sending phrases to an unknown dimension of unspoken and unthought-of words, maybe a little bit of speech therapy in the Dark Box.