IC Contact/Voicemail

[preybeforemeals]

[VOICE/TEXT/VIDEO; OPEN TO ALL]
(Meridiana, you probably want this one.)

"Ah, amore, it seems I've missed you; do leave something for me and we'll see if we can rectify that, shall we?"

Comments

[preybeforemeals]

[...SIR...

He actually switches to audio again for this, because he needs to yell at you a little for waking him up for this, but like hell if he's letting you see what he looks like at three in the morning.]]

Monsieur, I have no idea what you think you're doing but I'm fairly certain that isn't meant to go in there!

[deaftly]

[Naki stops what he's doing to look briefly confused. The Inkay looks just as confused, but it's probably more confused because Naki stopped.]

What do you mean? Of course it's supposed to go in here!

[He maneuvers the bottle so that a cute little Inkay face is visible on it.]

It's called an Inkay Bottle! It's how you-- You'll see!

[And with that, he gives one final push and the Inkay somehow manages to fit in that bottle.]

Are you ready!?

[...is he talking to you, the Inkay, or himself??]

[preybeforemeals]

...Not really, but go ahead.

[deaftly]

[Naki doesn't waste any time. He turns the bottle a few times, pops the cap off, and out sprays almost five feet of squid. The Malamar just sort of lies there on the floor after the whole thing is done while Naki cackles like this is the most hilarious thing he's ever seen.

...Considering his background, this might actually be the most hilarious thing he's ever seen.]

I wish I had another one! I'd do this for the rest of my life if I could! This is so fucking funny!

[preybeforemeals]

[...JESUS CHRIST

FIVE FEET OF SQUID JUST SPRAYED OUT OF THAT BOTTLE LIKE FUCKING CHAMPAGNE

IT MIGHT JUST BE DUE TO IT BEING THREE IN THE MORNING BUT THIS IS THE MOST HILARIOUS THING HE'S EVER SEEN]

Giocoso - are you serious?!

[oh my god he hates you how dare you make him laugh this hard he is going to wake somebody up at this rate]

[deaftly]

[...Man he has no idea what that word even was, but he'll let it slide!]

Of course I'm serious! This is how they evolve these fuckers. They sell these goddamn bottles in the store, like this is a totally normal thing that people do!

[The Malamar finally pulls itself up and slinks offscreen, still looking a little dizzy.]

Isn't it the fucking best!?

[preybeforemeals]

[Ohhhhhh my god.]

You know, if you're that amused by it you could always breed them.

[deaftly]

...Breed them...

[Like this genuinely hadn't occurred to him.]

Holy shit, I think I could. Inky's a girl and Octo's a boy, so...

[his pokémon's names just keep getting worse and worse...

also that grin he's giving his pokémon is kind of horrifying]

Just imagine, hatching these little shits and stuffing 'em into these bottles immediately! That's going to be so fucking great!

[SEND HELP]

[preybeforemeals]

You are positively horrendous, monsieur.

That said, I may actually forgive you for waking me up for this.

[deaftly]

As you should! This's too fucking glorious not to share! Besides, I gave you that squid awhile ago, so you can evolve yours the same way!

[...]

Though they do get pretty damn ugly after they evolve. I guess they're probably better at fighting though.

[preybeforemeals]

Oh, I have more than my share of things that get rather ugly after they evolve. I'm sadly getting used to it by now.

[deaftly]

Yeah? Like what? What others did you pick up anyway?

[preybeforemeals]

Well, one of them is a dog that looks like it wants to fight just about everything in the world all at once, except it's rather easily startled and becomes terrified at the slightest provocation. Apparently it's a trait of the species.

It reminds me of Banjou-san, actually. I named it after him, in a very roundabout way - their names share kanji.

[deaftly]

...That's the most fitting thing I've ever heard, wow.

[He's going to be snickering for the rest of the day, thanks.]

[preybeforemeals]

He got upset with me once for telling scary stories during a mission, it was hilarious.

[deaftly]

That sounds amazing.

[...]

Wait, are you talking about the dog?

[preybeforemeals]

No, the ghoul; apparently he didn't appreciate hearing about a house in which all the occupants mysteriously died as we were checking a dark basement.

[deaftly]

Seriously? Come on, stories like that are just stories!

[Naki, you're not one to talk, you probably would have cried.]

[preybeforemeals]

[He just laughs again at that.]

Well, the story was about the house we were currently checking, so that may have had something to do with it.

[...this is such a 3:00 AM conversation, holy shit.]

[deaftly]

...Oh. I guess that's a bit more understandable then.

[Not like he'd be spooked by it, of course!!]