IC Contact/Voicemail

[preybeforemeals]

[VOICE/TEXT/VIDEO; OPEN TO ALL]
(Meridiana, you probably want this one.)

"Ah, amore, it seems I've missed you; do leave something for me and we'll see if we can rectify that, shall we?"

Comments

[deaftly]

Courtship? What the fuck is that?

[He definitely misheard that, didn't he... But as usual, Naki lets it go.]

Yeah, it does! I'm not used to people trusting me with personal shit like that so whenever anyone does it it's... really awkward? I usually don't want to tell them anything about myself because... y'know. I mean my past has been completely shitty and then there's everything else...

But I think it's good that you can trust her with it! I think it's really good that you want to trust her with it. That just proves how much you like her, right?

[...]

So is she human? Who is she? What's she like? C'mon, I want to hear everything.

[preybeforemeals]

She's human, yes! I've found her to be incredibly sweet, actually, despite being a little stiff and boring at first; she's from a different time period, so that's likely why, but once she started coming out of her shell a bit she's absolutely lovely. Very clever, at times surprisingly so, and very quaint but in a charming sort of way - she's from a different time period, so she's had to adjust to how we do things here, but her insights on how things worked back in her world and time are absolutely fascinating to listen to and she has a wonderful way with words on top of it, I could listen to her for days.

It helps that she's beautiful, of course, blonde hair and large blue eyes, she looks like a porcelain doll - very delicate, very fragile-looking, not normally the sort I like in the least but on her it's amazing. Ah, and she's known her share of hardships as well, from what I understand, but there's an inner strength to her as well - she hasn't let it turn her bitter or hateful, she's still optimistic and kind and she's helped me through a good amount since I've been here, I'm not altogether sure where I'd be without her right now, honestly...

[jesus christ he is just going to sit here going SHE'S SO SMART AND PRETTY AND PERFECT AND WONDERFUL AND AMAZING AND PERFECT AND PRETTY for the next year if you let him, he is such a fucking teenager

he's got it so bad, naki, it's embarrassing]

[deaftly]

[CHINHANDS]

Holy shit, I didn't know you were super into someone! You never mentioned this before! How long have you been pining for this chick anyway?

[He's both really amused and really interested. Naki's not used to seeing Tsukiyama get like this and it's pretty fucking cute. More importantly though, it's a nice topic change and he really does like learning more about what's going on in Tsukiyama's life.]

She does sound pretty cute! Not my type at all, of course.

[HE HAS A VERY SPECIFIC TYPE, UM]

[preybeforemeals]

I am not pining - I've known her for a good while here, though, so it's not as though I'm just...suddenly feeling close to someone like that.

[deaftly]

But you haven't told her yet, right? Holy shit you're the second person I've had this conversation with this month, what are the fucking odds?

[DON'T WORRY, AMERICANO. LOVE GURU NAKI HAS YOUR BACK.]

So when are you gonna do that courtshit thing?

[THAT IS NOT WHAT HE SAID AT ALL]

[preybeforemeals]

Courtship, courtship -

[NAKI PLEASE]

And I don't...know? Not anytime soon, I'd imagine, I've no idea if she'd even want something like that and I have reason to suspect she might not...!

[deaftly]

What, is she gay?

[preybeforemeals]

[...but why]

No?

[deaftly]

Well why else wouldn't she be interested in you?

[10/10 except the lie pants, that cuts it in half]

[preybeforemeals]

[...................]

You know, that was unexpectedly and unbelievably flattering of you, merci and thank you for it.

[deaftly]

What, you really think I'd try to give you shit over something like that? C'mon, my taste is fucking amazing.

[...uh]

[preybeforemeals]

[...no...comment...]

...I'm certain that it is, monsieur.

[deaftly]

Well obviously! I am dating the hottest guy here.

[...]

Second hottest. After me, of course!

[...did he ever tell you about that??]

[preybeforemeals]

[...No, but it's not like you're subtle.]

If you say so, though you'll have to forgive me for not agreeing with you; nowhere near my type, either of you.

[deaftly]

Really? Well there go my plans for when you get back.

[that was probably a joke probably]

[preybeforemeals]

[...UM]

...Did you...

[did you just]

[deaftly]

Oh come on, what's that look for? There's no need for you to be a fucking prude!

[SLY WINK]

[preybeforemeals]

Oh, I'm hardly anything of the sort, believe me.

[deaftly]

With those fucking pants I'd kinda hope not. Then again, with those fucking pants all I can ever really imagine is that you're more of a shameless slut than I am, but then you turn around and do shit like this...

[NAKI OH MY GOD]

[preybeforemeals]

...What...

[...What do you even say to that, holy shit.]

[deaftly]

See, you're doing it again! It's like your brain shuts down after I say something crass like that. So either you're like, the classiest of sluts who insists on being called an "escort" or whatever or you're a total fucking prude.

[SOMEONE STOP THIS MAN]

[preybeforemeals]

...But escorts get paid.

[Things he shouldn't have zeroed in on, probably: that.]

[deaftly]

Oh yeah, they do, don't they-- that explains why you're so fucking rich.

[...]

Because you're literally fucking the rich!

[GODFUCKINGDAMMIT NAKI]

[preybeforemeals]

...Not exactly.

[I MEAN THERE WAS THAT ONE COUNCILMAN THAT ONE TIME BUT THAT WASN'T EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE REFERRING TO.]

[deaftly]

Well I can't see you agreeing to fuck just anyone!

[TSUKIYAMA]