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Yeah, that's... really worrying. Holy shit. And there's no way for sure to find out...

[What on earth do you do about that?]

...That's why I haven't been saying anything.

[His words are shaky when he speaks; he can feel his speech picking up speed, his words becoming jagged and more rapidly-paced, but he can't seem to bring himself to care.]

There's no way for me to know for sure what happened, and there's nothing to do except either dwell on it or try to ignore it. There's no point in complaining to anyone about it because as insensitive as I can be, I'm fully aware that I shouldn't be complaining about possibly losing my family to people who have already lost theirs.

[He rakes one of his hands back through his hair, the gesture rough and agitated.]

And I...I want to see them again but I know that I can't, and even if I did, they would likely want nothing to do with me as I am now - I can just imagine what my father would say, he'd probably think it's better to be dead than to be as close to human as I am now, god, I would disgust them all so much and that just feeds back in to what we were talking about before and to top it all off that's such a stupid thing to worry about! I mean, they might be dead, right? That should be what I focus on, right?

[He just kind of...stops, then; it's...that was a lot of words, Naki, sorry.]

This is why I don't talk about this, no matter how I handle this it's going to be wrong and there's nothing I can do, I can't...

[He's quiet through all that but by the time Tsukiyama's done, Naki's in tears. It's not violent sobbing, but he's already gathering a collection of tissues by his side.]

Y-Your family... And you don't know what happened... and...

[Another box of tissues is pushed into the frame as Naki reaches out to grab some more.]

I-- I can't help you and I don't know what to say and I'm really shitty at this but... Tsukiyama...

[SNIFFLE]

I'm so sorry! You've been going through so much and I didn't fucking realize and I can't help and-- and--!!

[WHY AREN'T YOU HERE, HE CAN'T HUG YOU so this poor squid will have to do.]

[It's for the best that you can't hug him, probably, that would be so weird...

It takes him a while to calm down, to try to force himself to breathe, and after a moment he laughs a bit, the sound breathless and overwhelmed-sounding and more than a bit hollow, because he doesn't know what else to do.]

...You used my name for once.

[Because it's easier to focus on that than it is anything else.]

It's...all right, I'm going to be fine, it's just a lot to deal with right now but I promise everything's going to work out.

...I like talking to you, you know. It does help.

[Naki rubs at his eyes, but it's going to take awhile for the tears to stop.]

Y-Yeah. "Americano" didn't seem appropriate...

[He sniffles again. And pulls some more tissues out.]

I hope it'll be alright. I-I dunno what I could do to help but... I'd do whatever I can.

[He brightens a bit at Tsukiyama's words though.]

I'm glad! I wanna help, I just don't know how I can. But I can always listen at least!

Just keep doing as you have been, then. We can...well, we can be there for each other, if nothing else.

[He pauses briefly, shaking his head as though trying to clear it.]

...I just miss them, I suppose. But it's like we were saying - I don't really want to see them here, either. So either it's fine to feel that way or we're both wrong, and even if it's the latter, I don't particularly care.

Yeah. I know. I... I'm sorry. It sucks. It sucks so fucking much.

[There goes the first box of tissues...]

It doesn't really matter if we're both wrong. As long as it's both of us, it's fine.

That's what I think, too.

[And that seems to relax him, really; he's still not calm, not by a long shot, but he's less worked up, at least, and smiling comes easily even if he isn't feeling it.]

Are you going to be all right, monsieur?

Yeah. I'll be alright. It's... really helped talking to you. So uh, thanks. And I'm sorry I can't be of any more help.

You have nothing to be sorry for.

[...]

You ought to join me in Olivine, you know. I think you'd like it here.

Ah, really? But that involves routes...

[He looks genuinely torn though. He does want to hang out with Tsukiyama but the lack of cake...]

Does it help persuade you if I tell you the food here is worth it? Apparently no one saw fit to tell me this is the best dining spot in the region before I got here.

Best dining spot in the region...?

[Naki's eyes light up at that. But there is one pressing question--]

What's the dessert like!?

Oh, believe me, it's excellent.

I do have a question for you, though, before we make any decisions. It's possibly not a very pleasant one, but it's been bothering me.

Yeah? What is it?

You mentioned having your kagune back this past weekend. You said you "barely" used it.

When...did you use it, exactly?

Uh, well...

[Naki glances away, but at least he's not crying anymore? Good lord his makeup is smeared everywhere. What a mess.]

Greed was showing me what he could do with his Ultimate Shield thing. So I showed him what I could do. But I didn't say anything about you or anyone else! I didn't tell him too much about ghouls either, just that we can do that.

[...Oh god.]

How much have you told him? You're sure it's just that?

Edited 2015-06-04 02:51 (UTC)

Definitely not about what we eat. I've mentioned that humans hate us and I mentioned I was captured for awhile and uh... the kagune? I think that's it though. Definitely nothing about what we eat.

...I sincerely hope he doesn't come across anyone from the CCG, because knowing about the kagune will be enough.

I've told him not to tell anyone. Ever. I trust him. He knows how scared I am that something'll happen.

[Probably because Naki's freaked out at him several times, um.]

So he's not gonna tell anyone. Especially not any guys with briefcases!

Fine, though I won't believe it until I see it.

Well you can't exactly see it, since all he's gotta do is keep his mouth shut...

Just trust me on this!

Actually, yes, I can, because we'll know as soon as he doesn't.

Don't you dare tell me to trust you on this particular matter after the discussion we just had regarding what the CCG did to my home ward. Maybe eventually, but not now.

...You think this is easy for me? I know you've got it bad. I know. But guess what, you're not the only one. Do you really think I would've told him fucking anything if I didn't trust him? He's not gonna sell us out.

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