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Sometimes things like that happen, monsieur.

[It's surprising, a little, how easily that answer comes; he sort of shrugs before continuing, like he's trying to shake it off.]

I once joined a group of people, for the sake of someday killing their leader; it was just a matter of getting close enough to him to do it, of being trusted enough by the others that they wouldn't suspect me or see it coming.

The longer I spent with them, the more I...well, I found myself enjoying their company. I envied their group dynamic, because it was something I'd never had for myself; I started wishing I was included more closely, that I could be a part of what they had. The person I was there to kill was very decent to me; after a while, I...

I didn't want to kill him anymore.

[Mnnngh.]

It's like that, I think; this place has been good to us, the people have been good to us. It's easier and safer to play at being human than it is to try to assert that we aren't; it's all lies and we know it, of course, but that doesn't mean it isn't a nice lie to uphold - it's understandable that you would start liking it after a while, monsieur. It feels wrong, perhaps, but that doesn't mean that all of it is.

[Naki tips his head as he listens. He's looking at the 'Gear properly again and he seems interested in what Tsukiyama has to say.]

That was Banjo's group, right?

[...That's not his name...]

That's why you put up with him, even though he's boring. It's because he's a member of that group.

[He rests his elbow on his knee and his chin against his hand while he thinks. Any anxiety that was present earlier seems to have vanished entirely.]

I don't really get it, but you're right. It's not all bad. If it was then I'd be having a harder time with this shit. But I'm doing really well, honestly. I'm not angry as often and I'm not sad all the time and I get bored a lot, yeah, but I've got friends and family here. I'm in a much better place than I was back home. So even if it's really weird that I'm just rolling with being human, at least it's good.

[That seems to settle him a bit and Naki nods.]

Yeah. That's what it is. It's good. It's not gonna change the fact that being human sucks, but it's not like everything works out perfectly anyway. Besides, we still get those weekends to go back to being ghouls!

[When he laughs at that it's soft, gentle, but it's genuine as well.]

Ahh, that's true, isn't it - those weekends are always a little strange to adjust to, but they're nice in their own way.

[He's quiet again for a moment once that's out there, though; not bothered, just...thinking.]

I think I understand, by the way, why you wanted to tell Greed-san about yourself.

Ah, yeah?

[Naki immediately perks up at that and while the grin he's giving Tsukiyama is hardly sane, it's what his face usually does.]

I still haven't told him everything though I uh... probably should... But are you thinking of telling someone or is it just the idea of it?

[...You know, he's kind of come to accept a lot of things during his time here, but at the same time, even if that's just Naki's fucking face, it's probably always going to be just a little unsettling.]

Ah, well, there's someone here that I've found myself rather close to, despite my best efforts to the contrary.

[Tsukiyama, you didn't even try at all.]

I've told her that I've done some unfortunate things in the past, but she doesn't know anything else. It feels...strange, continuing to lie to her about it.

[...]

Wait, so you're interested in her?

[Naki's expression somehow manages to get even more terrifying, though he's really just very happy.]

Like, dating interested? Fucking go for it, Americano!

[The dumb nickname is completely affectionate though and Naki settles after a moment.]

I dunno if it'll be the same for you, but it felt really good to talk about it. I was a little bit afraid at first, but... everything went way better than I thought it would. The stuff I haven't told him is more personal, but he's smart. I'm pretty sure he's figured some of it out.

Ah, well, I...yes? I suppose. I haven't discussed the possibility of actual courtship with her or anything, but possibly?

[...MOVING RIGHT ALONG.]

I don't know how well she'll take it; it's...something I think I can trust her with, though. If I'm going to be honest, I want to tell her because she's told me so many personal things about herself already - things no one really has any business knowing unless she trusts them entirely. I don't like continuing to lie to her about this if she trusts me that much, does that make sense?

Courtship? What the fuck is that?

[He definitely misheard that, didn't he... But as usual, Naki lets it go.]

Yeah, it does! I'm not used to people trusting me with personal shit like that so whenever anyone does it it's... really awkward? I usually don't want to tell them anything about myself because... y'know. I mean my past has been completely shitty and then there's everything else...

But I think it's good that you can trust her with it! I think it's really good that you want to trust her with it. That just proves how much you like her, right?

[...]

So is she human? Who is she? What's she like? C'mon, I want to hear everything.

She's human, yes! I've found her to be incredibly sweet, actually, despite being a little stiff and boring at first; she's from a different time period, so that's likely why, but once she started coming out of her shell a bit she's absolutely lovely. Very clever, at times surprisingly so, and very quaint but in a charming sort of way - she's from a different time period, so she's had to adjust to how we do things here, but her insights on how things worked back in her world and time are absolutely fascinating to listen to and she has a wonderful way with words on top of it, I could listen to her for days.

It helps that she's beautiful, of course, blonde hair and large blue eyes, she looks like a porcelain doll - very delicate, very fragile-looking, not normally the sort I like in the least but on her it's amazing. Ah, and she's known her share of hardships as well, from what I understand, but there's an inner strength to her as well - she hasn't let it turn her bitter or hateful, she's still optimistic and kind and she's helped me through a good amount since I've been here, I'm not altogether sure where I'd be without her right now, honestly...

[jesus christ he is just going to sit here going SHE'S SO SMART AND PRETTY AND PERFECT AND WONDERFUL AND AMAZING AND PERFECT AND PRETTY for the next year if you let him, he is such a fucking teenager

he's got it so bad, naki, it's embarrassing]

[CHINHANDS]

Holy shit, I didn't know you were super into someone! You never mentioned this before! How long have you been pining for this chick anyway?

[He's both really amused and really interested. Naki's not used to seeing Tsukiyama get like this and it's pretty fucking cute. More importantly though, it's a nice topic change and he really does like learning more about what's going on in Tsukiyama's life.]

She does sound pretty cute! Not my type at all, of course.

[HE HAS A VERY SPECIFIC TYPE, UM]

I am not pining - I've known her for a good while here, though, so it's not as though I'm just...suddenly feeling close to someone like that.

But you haven't told her yet, right? Holy shit you're the second person I've had this conversation with this month, what are the fucking odds?

[DON'T WORRY, AMERICANO. LOVE GURU NAKI HAS YOUR BACK.]

So when are you gonna do that courtshit thing?

[THAT IS NOT WHAT HE SAID AT ALL]

Courtship, courtship -

[NAKI PLEASE]

And I don't...know? Not anytime soon, I'd imagine, I've no idea if she'd even want something like that and I have reason to suspect she might not...!

What, is she gay?

[...but why]

No?

Well why else wouldn't she be interested in you?

[10/10 except the lie pants, that cuts it in half]

[...................]

You know, that was unexpectedly and unbelievably flattering of you, merci and thank you for it.

What, you really think I'd try to give you shit over something like that? C'mon, my taste is fucking amazing.

[...uh]

[...no...comment...]

...I'm certain that it is, monsieur.

Well obviously! I am dating the hottest guy here.

[...]

Second hottest. After me, of course!

[...did he ever tell you about that??]

[...No, but it's not like you're subtle.]

If you say so, though you'll have to forgive me for not agreeing with you; nowhere near my type, either of you.

Really? Well there go my plans for when you get back.

[that was probably a joke probably]

[...UM]

...Did you...

[did you just]

Oh come on, what's that look for? There's no need for you to be a fucking prude!

[SLY WINK]

Oh, I'm hardly anything of the sort, believe me.

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